California Dreaming

i have wanted to move to California for over a year now. like actually been planning and saying i'm for real gonna move there. and the desire gets stronger and stronger every day. i can't wait to see what my future has in store. 

today i did something that i never thought i'd ever be able to do.

i found roundtrip tickets to San Francisco in 2 weeks (just in time to see Tsunami Bomb and the Action Design in Petaluma) for only $93 and i didn't buy them. i wanted to, and fuck do i ever still want to, and i hope to GOD i dont regret it as much as i feel like i'm going to regret it, because it would have been the time of my life, but i'm making a decision to move forward in my life instead of going on impulse and spending money when i can't afford to. 

today made me decide that i will never again put myself in the situation where i have to say no to something i want as badly as i want to go to this show, because of stupid decisions i've made in the past with money. 

i will do anything to go to Petaluma to see Tsunami Bomb and the Action Design on January 17th. 

i am convinced that i'm going, i just don't know how. the thing is, it's not only to go see the bands, it's an experience, a bunch of people from the message board are going. its like a gathering of people from all over the world and that's amazing that music can bring us together, from near and far. 

The Great Beginning

so basically, a great deal of this blog is going to be an "inventory of being" if you will. something i've learnt about myself every day. whether it be something big or something random. I'm 20, I'm young, I'm coming into myself, ever so slowly. it's been a hard year, but i've learnt so much more about myself than i can even remember. I'm hoping that writing down some of those lessons in the new year will help me to make better decisions this year, or at least avoid some of the less exciting ones.

there will also be random thoughts and ideas, as i tend to do both of those quite often. 

today, i realized that the thing i procrastinate most often, besides working out, is going to bed. sometimes it's just so much easier to stay awake where you are then get up and get into bed comfortably.